For those of you who don't get that '90's reference, I'm sorry. I am pretty sure I wrote a blog with the exact same title when I went through the querying process last time. So far, this is the absolute worst part of the writing process. All the other parts I had some control over (yes, I am a slight control freak) but this part is all about patience. Gotta say that is a quality I have short supply of. The last time taught me to be a little more patient and I hope this time will help me even more.
As I sit here and chew on my nails (check my email obsessively), I ask myself if I've done enough. Is my writing good enough? Did I edit enough? Is my MS as pretty as it can possibly be? (Before starting querying the answers to all of these questions was a resounding yes.) But now I can't help but second guess myself, which I hate.
One thing I've learned about myself in my 31 years, I look for validation from those around me far too much. My confidence is at an all time high because my husband is amazing and compliments me but it makes me sad that I can't have that internal love for myself that overpowers all. Don't get me wrong, my self-worth is also at an all time high but maybe through things like this I will learn to find an internal way to appreciate me.
Who would have thought writing could be the key to overcoming one of my weakest qualities? Another reason why I know this is what I am meant to do :)