I'm not gonna lie...yesterday was a hard day...like a really hard day. To give you some idea, when Lyle came home today he asked, "what happened to you because you were such a different person yesterday than you are today."
So this is what happened. Most of you know what my religion is to me. My relationship with my Father in Heaven and my Savior mean everything to me. They have also spoiled me alot in this relationship because most of the time when I pray, my prayers are answered, in some fashion, rather quickly. As you can imagine I have prayed alot about this process. Is it the right thing? It takes up so much time from my adorable son and wonderful husband. Can Heavenly Father help me? Things like that.
Anyway I have been feeling like my prayers weren't being answered. Nothing is really happening and I am still spending so much time away from my family and each rejection was starting to weigh down on me like a ton of bricks.
Last night as I was reading scriptures with my little family, we were reading where Alma and his people were being burdened by Amulon and the priests of King Noah. They prayed that they would be saved from this situation. The Lord answered that they needed to have faith and patience, but until that time he could lighten their burdens.
I saw faith and PATIENCE. It stuck out to me like it was highlighted. And then I heard, a literal voice in my head, tell me that things would happen the way they were supposed to, in time.
I had the faith part down but the patience part, well it was so hard for me. I then prayed to my Heavenly Father to lighten my burdens. I felt a little silly because I know that there are awful things happening in the world and this seems so minor compared to all of that, but at that moment I really needed my Father. I needed to have help in order to be myself and the best wife and mom I could be.
After that prayer everything seemed easier. I got another rejection today but I saw the positive things that she included about my manuscript. Then I watched The View and the people on the show talked about the book that they had to self publish because no one believed in it. Someone even said it would never go beyond the bargain bin. Now that book has sold 2 million copies and is being turned into a movie on CBS.
Anyway I know there have always been the stories out there like these women and my rejections usually had positive things in them, but I couldn't ever see it because I hadn't allowed my Heavenly Father to share my burdens.
Don't get me wrong I am sure there will still be hard days, but as long as I turn to my Heavenly Father and allow him to answer my prayers in HIS way...I'll be fine :)