My title actually has nothing to do with my post which is a huge no no in writing but since this is my blog, I'm calling an it's my party moment :)
While the writing, editing, querying process can hold a whole bunch of highs, there are quite a few lows. I've tried to focus on the highs but that isn't a real look at this journey, the lows are all too real. So let me tell ya bout them lows...
I received a particularly hard rejection a little while back and I can't seem to shake it. Other rejections have been hard but this one got under my skin and won't free itself of it's own accord bringing me to a place I haven't been before and I don't like it.
I just read on a blog that if you can write forever without getting published than this is something to pursue for life. I thought about that. Would I really be okay not being published a year down the road, two years, five years, ten years, etc? Would I continue without any validation from the outside world?
These are hard questions to answer, especially the second one. As a person works, I believe it is natural to want some sort of reward. People say that being a mother is one of the hardest jobs around for many reasons but one is that we don't receive accolades, bonuses for good work, or even a salary. So far writing has been like that for me. The people around me, for the most part, say that I'm doing a good job. They appreciate my work and believe in me. But even with that, how long until I call it a crazy, beautiful dream and move on to a job with real dinero?
Granted I could always do this after a full-time job like many writers have to do (I know I am so blessed to be able to stay-at-home as a mom and write in my spare time) but I don't know if I could personally juggle mommyhood, writing, and a full-time job.
Anyway this post is pretty down and don't get me wrong, I LOVE writing. I don't believe I could ever really give it up no matter the circumstances but there are days that I question how long I can go on. I know I can go on today and probably tomorrow, but what about the next day? I guess that's where the saying don't borrow trouble comes into play. And honestly I know that tomorrow, I'll know I can make it that day and the next tomorrow so there's my answer. Yes, I know I would do this forever. But some days will suck ;)